your sleep as of late has been a source of stress for me and your daddy.
for a while, you had us scared that you had given up your afternoon naps. you used to sleep about four hours in the afternoon – sheer bliss for me. it’s not that i don’t like having you around. it’s just that i need time to work and decompress and, if i’m being honest, to take my own nap. so, when you stopped napping, it was upsetting.
but, alas, you have started napping again. this is good.
what is not good? putting you to bed at night can be a two-hour ordeal – complete with tears, and threats, and shouts, and stress for all of us. why? why must you do this? why can you not read quietly and then fall into a peaceful slumber? why do you have to stand at the gate and scream for a drink? why do you have to tell us you have to “potty” three or four times never meaning it once? why do you insist on chucking your doggy dd over the gate and then cry like a stuck pig? why????????
i know that we conditioned you a little bit to put up a bedtime fight. we love you so. and, because of this, we (meaning me) has a difficult time listening to you wail. i always have. (there is a reason you didn’t sleep through the night until you were one). when we first moved, i blamed these nighttime theatrics on the transition to the new place. then, you got sick. and, i had something else to blame. then, we moved you into your big girl room (something else . . .). you get the idea.
but, now, lillian, we are all moved in. no one is sick. your new room is a comfortable place that you know and love. you just don’t want to go to sleep at night. and, that is annoying to put it mildly. (recently, aunt ashley and uncle ryan gave us a book called “go the f*** to sleep,” it is genius and speaks to me on a level that nothing else can – but, i digress). so, now i am working to train myself to do better at night. i will not cater to your every whim anymore, my dear sweet lillian. trust me, this is for the best.
on a more positive note, you are so very cute when you sleep. you still sleep with doggy dd. he is necessary. you sometimes sleep with monster rubber ducky (which is weird, but you love him). sometimes, you put doggy dd on top of monster rubber ducky (in a very particular fashion that i haven’t quite figured out) and lie down on top of both. funny stuff. very quirky. looks very uncomfortable.
you still sleep with your bum up in the air most of the time. your feet are often crossed. sometimes, you put both hands under your cheek, which melts my heart.
when you wake up in the morning, you go to your gate and call out, “daddy. the sun is awake,” or “daddy. come get me. i am awake,” or “guys. can you hear me? the sun is awake!” we have a monitor in our room so that we can hear you. but, it is really unnecessary seeing as how you belt these statements out in the loudest possible way.
sometimes you have bad dreams. most often, these involve a “scary man” (which is a little disconcerting – i have no idea where it came from), but the other night you told us there were worms in your bed. your sleeping mind is creative. we always come comfort you in the night if you need us.
because this is turning into a long post, let me just get to the photo of the day (that’s what people want to see after all).
tuesday, march 13 | this is how i found you
i never know what i will find when i come to get you from your nap. sometimes, you have undressed and redressed yourself in really crazy attire (most recently, a pair of pajamas sized 6-12 months – skin tight! – and, on another occasion, enough clothes to survive a night in the frozen tundra – which left you sweating and unable to sleep – imagine that).
on this afternoon, i found you curled up with doggy dd on the floor of your big girl room (which looked like a hurricane had hit it). this was one of our rougher nap days.